Mealtime Magic
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Hello and welcome to today's podcast. This was the podcast that I was going to put out last week, but wasn't feeling well enough. So. Uh, we are bringing it while I am bringing it to you today. And I'm going to be talking about. Community. And when I'm talking about community in family daycare, I'm not talking about the outside community. I'm more referring to, and I'm going to reframe it as togetherness.
So togetherness within family daycare is that part where we connect with each other. And we connect on these wonderful levels that are not always able to happen in other. settings. So I really wanted to chat about that and the importance of that today. So let's get into it.
I K. So I wanted to talk about specifically mealtimes because I find that many children are attending in the day or coming first thing. And they have been picked up out of bed. There's not a great deal of time. These Mummers and puppers have to get to work really quickly. And as soon as they can, so some of these children are getting woken up or they're having maybe having breakfast at the table, but quite often it's potentially in the car on the way to kindie.
That's not the optimal way to start your day.
Uh, so when we are aware of that and we know that these children are often going home, having a shower, Having dinner and going straight to bed. They're missing out on these big connection times that we we know is vitally important in the early years. So that is more and more falling upon our shoulders. And I see often the educators struggle at meal times. And then not these enjoyable situations. They're not necessarily sitting there chatting. And having these wonderful togetherness moments or community driven moments, they are, it's a production line. And it's a rush to get to bed.
Maybe you've come back from an excursion and you know, the younger one is really tired. And so it's, you know, wham, bam, just get in there and get it done and get them onto bed because this little one's losing it. Because they're tired and cranky and they need to go to bed and these things are going to happen.
Sometimes it's absolutely normal that that might happen. Uh, from time to time, however we really want to, or what I want to get you to reflect on is how often that happens. How often. Do you. Not allow enough time for the importance of eating together. When we can sit and share a meal and it's a relaxed time and it's an enjoyable experience and everybody's chatting and laughing. And we're talking about things that have happened in the day.
We're talking about friends that might not be there on that day. It creates this wonderful. Magical experience that. On a human level. Is the right of every person. To share a meal to break bread together. Is a fundamental right that we have as human beings. And to experience this as a joyful experience. Is so important.
And I know that with the busy-ness of today's society, That that is sometimes not the norm. Uh, you know, people eating in front of the TV with devices on they're disengaged, they're not having a human to human heart to heart connection. And I really want to bring your awareness to that in family daycare, that you can create that. And you can make these times in your days, these sanctuaries, these respite from busy-ness. And you can thoroughly enjoy it and be a person worthy of role modeling.
So eating your meal with the children. Is so important and it can be done. I had mixed age groups in all of my care and when I worked in long daycare, Everybody used to go and have their lunch in the tea room. I used to be the only one that would see any with the children. I would bring my lunch in and I would sit and eat with the children aid because I didn't want to eat what the children were eating because it was disgusting. Just quietly. Uh, I know they've got budgets, but $2 a day is not enough to feed children adequately. And so I would eat my own lunch with the children and I was the only educator that would do that.
And in fact, they laughed at me for doing it. And I didn't care because I know how important it is. And. Those meal times when there's somebody sitting there who's in a relaxed state themselves that infuses that entire space and the children. Start to relax and they start to look forward to these moments and they don't want to rush off and, and go and play.
They stay, they linger. And we have these wonderful connections and we create these beautiful traditions within our service. So we had this little guy who used to come up and he was here only with us for about three months while he was waiting for a space closer to home. And he was a little bit older than all of the children and an absolute comedian.
This guy is hilarious. And so he would start these jokes and one of the jokes was Tori your on the roof and it would be like, what? No, I'm not. And then he'd say to all of the other children and they'd all respond exactly the same way. And it became this joke. And this joke lived on for so long after he left and started at his new place. For so long.
And in fact, when he came back for a casual day, one day, The children's straight up because we kept that alive. He'd completely forgotten. And when he sat down at the table straight up, blah, blah, blah. Your on the roof. And he was looking at them like what? And I had to remind him and he was like, oh, that's right. Oh, yeah.
And so then it went onto your sandwiches on the roof or the dog is on the roof, or, you know, the, the, and of course the inevitable your bum bum is on the roof. And it just like was hilarious and the children would laugh hysterically and we had these wonderful connections and moments together, and it was so enjoyable to the point that I still fondly think of that from time to time. So this is the power of creating cohesive relationships. Now mealtimes. Uh, are not confrontational. Mealtimes there's there's no. Chance for children to feel threatened in any way or. Pushed or anything in, in that instance. So often if I had children that would struggle with each other, I would sit them next to each other at meal times because they're, they've got their own thing.
They're doing their own thing. They have their own plate. There's no arguing. And we can work through those differences together. And the more often they sit together and are in these non-confrontational moments together. The more, they can relax into each other's company and space. And I find that's often a great tool that I've used over the years to help children overcome, uh, personality clashes and things like that, where they find common ground.
And it was quite often, I'd be like, oh, look. So-and-so has banana and soda you. Oh, your mommy's must love packing the same things for you every day. Uh, or, oh, look, so-and-so's got a blue thing and you've got a purple thing. That's the next color in the rainbow. How wonderful is that? You know, and those kinds of things where we find things like common ground for children.
And I use used to use that as a technique and a tool to help children overcome differences in the family daycare setting. And it was in a gentle and soft way. We used to tell stories at the table as well. So engaging the children in those senses while we're having a meal. It feels very traditional, almost like going back to how things were in the old days.
And it's lovely to be able to do that. Uh, and it's an important thing because this is something that's somewhat missing. In today's society. And educators are constantly saying I'm so busy. I'm so busy. I don't have the time. I don't have the time, but guess what friend you have the time to make these spaces within your day. And make them sacred, like really put in the effort and we used to make watercolor, um, Uh, placemats place settings.
And one of my plans, I didn't quite get to it before I moved out. A family daycare was to actually get the children to stitch placemats so that we could have washable ones. I did do the watercolor painting and then laminated them. Before I was well aware of how long laminated stuff stays in the environment.
We don't really need to do that, but you could also go to the secondhand store and purchase some fabric, uh, place settings. Uh, and, and we used to make little, um, napkin hold a serviette holders. So the children would set the table and they would have their cup. They would have the jug of water, which had a nice cover over the top of it to keep bugs out.
Um, they have their place settings and then someone would put the cutlery out. So the children were required to set the table and it was done with care and with love because we were setting that intention. And when those tasks are done, With presence and care and love it, infuses that into that mealtime as well.
So you're teaching the children to come to the table. And when they come to the table, they come respectfully and they bring their best table manners. So these are, these are massive teaching moments that you have opportunities to share with the children. But they're so worthwhile teaching because when you, you go out and you see children that have had someone show them how we sit at a table, how we use our knife and fork, how we can quietly ask to do a quiet activity at the table instead of running around or being shoved with a device in your face. You know, it's so interesting.
I eat out a lot because I'm on the road a lot. And I see, I like an early dinner because I like to go to bed early. Um, and so often I'm eating with the young families and it, it really saddens me to see how many are on devices. And not engaging with family. And this is, this is what's happening. And so. Where I read an article the other day about how children are getting, uh, it was stiff face. Response. Or blank, face response, something like that. And it was because they're so used to seeing a device that they're forgetting how to respond. We respond with facial expressions.
If you've ever watched a video of mine, you'll see my eyebrows move. A lot. They're up and down. And, uh, you can't miss them because they're black. Well, some of them are black. Some of them are getting gray now. Um, but we respond to each other when we are having a face-to-face conversation and children are more and more. Presenting with this blank face or stiff face response, because the video that they're watching just goes on, it doesn't matter what their response is to that. There's no cues being taken.
And so when, when someone is just passively engaged in watching something. There's no response. There's no. Like, if someone said something to me and you can't hide. I can't hide my face. Um, responses. And, you know, if someone says something that I'm like, what. That is all over my face. Don't you worry about that?
And so if, if someone said something in my face was like art, say what. Uh, what are you talking about? They're going to. Like take note of that and stop. Or they're going to double down on their tips. There's going to be a response to the response. My face gave them. Without a shadow of a doubt. And so this is what's happening with children is when they're stuck on these devices all the time and any time there's some kind of, you know, a family event or community event, they're there. They are on a device because they're passive.
They're not trouble, it's easier. And you know, I get it. I understand it too. And there's a time and a place. You know, and there's, you know, a few. If you're a single mama and you've got no help and you've just had a day, like I totally get it. I would utilize it too, but not to the point where it's making my child. Have zero response to anything. So. I just think we have an opportunity now. To have no screens at meal times, turn the telly off.
Turn the radio off. Have no sound. Maybe have a little bit of quiet music in the background. That's not Picasso. Passive and BT and you just another level. Of sound, you know, we used to sit outside or had had lovely, undercover area. And we would listen to the birds and we would talk about the different birds that we heard calling.
So we just had no other input other than ourselves. And quite often that's enough. So anyway. Enjoying those moments enjoying that time together is really what I want you to reflect on. How have you set up your. Um, Your day, how have you set up your transitions? Because transitions are so important to helping you. Get to these places where things are calm when you have your transitions, right?
The children will automatically start to do them, oftentimes without you even having to lead them into that. Now that's a big thing that I talk about in the essential elements in module one, the ebb and flow. Of how your day goes. And I talk massively about transitions and how important they are and how you can implement them into your day. And it really comes down to the educator being disciplined in holding that space. And it is a lot of work at the beginning, but once you get it, once you nail it, it's, it's makes your job 50 billion times easier. Into the point where it's an enjoyable flow all day long.
Yes. There are periods where it's a bit. That's going to happen when you're working with children or animals at any stage. Yeah, they, they are. Sentient beings have their own and have their own ideas and their own needs and their own feelings and things that need to be expressed. But when you have this framework, when you nail that, it makes it so much easier for you in the longterm.
So I really want to riff what you do, reflect on how this is looking in your service. Are you an educator that's, you know, not eating with the children, even if it's just a little bit, maybe it's not your full lunch. Maybe you might just have some crackers and cheese or. Or whatever, but it's really good to role model to children, adults eating. You know, really good varieties of food and different textures and flavors and colors and things like that.
And often I would have little bits that I could share with the children. Uh, so because I knew they were going to try, especially if I had some key. Sure. I had, you know, some lentil pasta or whatever it was, they often would go, oh, Tori, I'd like to try that. And I always shared a bit with them because I want them to experience different foods.
Every family eats differently. So. It's a good opportunity for you to help children broaden their, uh, tastes and experiences with food as well. So creating those meaningful rituals is what's really going to help you. Maintain this because. We are a society that relies on rituals and a lot of those are failing now and missing.
And I feel like this is like that bridge between connection. That is that we're yearning for. We all yearn for it. We just, maybe not knowing we maybe not aware that that's what we're missing. So I just really would ask you to look at how that looks in your day. Encouraging that participation and engagement.
How does that look? How can you encourage participation and engagement if you're just sitting there not eating, but you're telling the children to eat. We lead by example. Um, you know, maybe you've got a sandwich, just take half. If you feel like it's too stressful for you. And it's too busy for you to sit there and enjoy the whole thing.
And you'd actually rather have your lunch. When the children have gone to sleep and you've got that quiet. I totally get that too, but maybe have half with the children and half later. Um, We'll save the chocolate part. For after that can always work to. Um, it is, as I said before, it is an opportunity to teach the children, teaching the children good table manners. How do use manners? These are really valuable life skills.
It's one of the things that I am a huge proponent of is showing children how to say, please, and thank you and excuse me. And. And how to come and engage in a conversation. Uh, you know how to wait for a conversation? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just talking to Billy right now. I can hear you have a question. I'll just finish my conversation with Billy and then I'll come back to you. Is, you know, these are all teaching moments and, uh, children deserve to learn how to use these in context within the broader community.
And we all know sometimes that families struggle to set these boundaries and these limits for children. And so we have this perfect opportunity at mealtimes. To do that. Um, and it also helps with communication and that feeling of connection, that sense of connection, that sense of belonging. It can really happen in the space of mealtimes within family daycare. Those moments of checking in those moments of just touching base with each other and seeing where we're all at and how things are moving for each other. It's just so important that we create these spaces within our family daycare settings.
So. I would love for you to reflect on that. I would love for your thoughts and your feedback around how mealtimes work for you and in your family daycare setting. And this idea of really creating this connection, because I feel like this is what we really, really need when we're looking at long daycare settings, it's very difficult to, to foster those deep connections.
Like we can in family daycare. But also looking at how families are now in their busy and some of these children spend more time with us than they do their own families. So we have to be really mindful that the values that we hold as educators are wholesome and quality values that. Are going to give children what they need, which is that sense of deep connection, deep belonging. Being part of something, we are a community minded. Species. We do live in communities.
And I do look out at the world now and quite often go, oh, That's not so much how it is anymore. And that's how our, and I don't think we've evolved. I think the implementation of AI. And computers has put these big wedges where we get connection. But it's like online, but is that. Is that real connection? Oh, I just don't know.
We, we still have to function in society. We still have to work with people. We still have to go out and interact with people. And I just feel like in the early years, particularly in a family daycare setting, this is one of the things that makes us different. And I'm going to say it makes family daycare. Far more superior than any other kind of care out there.
That's available to families. So in order for, for us to maintain that we have to really grab onto these points of difference that make us exceptional. And really embed those deeply within to our services. So. That's what I want to talk about. I will be talking a lot more about this kind of this idea around connection and togetherness within family daycare over the next couple of months or weeks. So, uh, I hope you're along for the ride and I would love to hear what you think about this.
So thanks for tuning in and until next time. Bye for now. Big love.
