BHE006_VICTORIAPODCAST04
[00:00:00] Hello, hello and welcome to this week's podcast. Now I. We'll be currently in Port Douglass while I release this episode, so I'm excited about that. Um, actually I'll be in Mission Beach and I think it's quite relevant because I am going to talk about the need for deep self care and for educators to really make that time.
And to invest in their business in terms of. Professional development. So there's sort of two things that I'm talking about and quite often these things can interconnect. That's why I feel like I'm going to cover both of them. And I have a super, what I think anyway, and quite often what I think. May not land for everybody else, but I think it's a pretty cool analogy.
[00:01:00] And if you listen to my stories a couple of weeks ago, um, you would have heard me talk about it and connecting gardening of all things with business. And I just thought it was such a beautiful way to illustrate how business gardening. Time off deep self-care. Like really, I'm not talking, you know, having a bath.
I'm talking about profoundly deep self-care and, uh, business all go hand in hand together. So strapping, actually no, don't strap in. Sit down, make a cup of tea or a champagne, whatever floats your boat, and just come on this little journey with me so that we can delve together into the [00:02:00] really beneficial and essential need for deep care, deep self care and professional development within your business.
[00:03:00] Hello. Welcome, welcome. So a couple of weeks ago, as I was getting ready to head up to Port Douglas, which is so weird because it's tomorrow, I'm leaving to Port Douglas tomorrow, but. By the time you listen to this, uh, I will have been to Port Douglas, finish the retreat and then be on Mission Beach, and I will be probably, as you listen, relaxing on Waggling Beach because it's such a beautiful spot looking over to Dunk Island and wishing that I had the impetus to swim over there.
But I don't. So I will be sitting on the beach probably with a Prosecco in hand and perhaps a book and just enjoying, relaxing and taking the pressure off. Can you see that [00:04:00] I already have this planned in my head. Does it sound like I'm like already doing it? Uh, because I'm really visualizing this. Deep sense of relaxation that I'm going to have when I'm on my break.
And it really got me thinking. I. Uh, on the day that I was getting ready to head up to North Queensland, this is getting really confusing now. Sorry everybody, but I'm just gonna keep going cuz it's a really important message, so hang with me. Um, so when I was getting ready to come up here, I um, was looking around the garden.
Now my. Husband has had a really severe traumatic work injury in October last year, and hasn't been able to work since. So he has been. Because he is a 56 year old man and he can't, he's, he's always been a worker. Like he w he left school when he was 16, went and did [00:05:00] his apprenticeship and in diesel fitting and has worked ever since.
So for 40 odd years, he has work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work. And never taken more than a couple of weeks off at a time. So for seven months now, he hasn't worked and. He has invested his time in the garden and it, it was, we've already, we've al always had a lovely garden and always invested hours and hours and hours in the garden.
But a couple of years ago when we had all that rain and covid, covid and all the things, like everyone else decided to get into gardening. So we'd go to. You know, our normal gardening place to get supplies and they were all sold out and the rain just decimated our garden completely. It flooded and lots of things died.
And then Brian was really busy at work and I was away a lot. And so the [00:06:00] garden didn't get as much love as what it used to when I was working in the family daycare because the children and I would do a lot of the. You know, the groundwork. And then Brian would do the big work over the weekends and the kindy kids.
And I would just continue that and, and there was a lot of love put into the garden. So whilst he's had the last seven months off, he's pretty much started a game in the garden and we extended a big portion of the garden input, um, uh, what's the word? Um, Oh, what are those things? Uh, sleepers. We've made extra gardens and we've built gardens up by adding sleepers and made more space and all those sorts of things.
And he invested in a greenhouse and he is been growing things from seed and fighting with the rats and all these kinds of things. And I was stood out in the garden in the morning and looking at how it's [00:07:00] all grown like. Just so quickly, like we've got. Millions of, not millions, but we've got loads of color in the garden now.
There's lots of marigolds and gardenias and all sorts of things, uh, floating around in the garden now, which is making it look lovely. There's a lushness to the garden and there's, you can tell there's been a lot of energy and input put into the garden. And as I was standing out there, you're probably wondering what this has to do with anything at orbit.
Just stick with me. So as I was standing out there, I really started to think about. Business and gardens are very, very similar. Now, there's probably a whole lot of you out there that are going, I don't know, the first thing about gardening, and there's a whole lot of you out there who go, I don't know. The first thing about business, I'm just floating along, going as best as I can.
Well, I'm about to share with you the similarities between gardening business and that [00:08:00] is, Gardens can be fickle. They can be really fickle. And some people don't have a natural affinity to gardening. They can't even keep an indoor plant alive. Um, and it's the same with business. Some people are really good with business and they track their numbers.
They track. All of their KPIs, they track their, so that's a key performance indicator. They track all of the data that comes in and out, and they have a natural connection to their business. They are really great at the marketing side of their business. Now you have to be a marketer if you're a family daycare educator.
Unless you get families landing in your lap, there's going to be times where things are hard and you have to be able to know how you will stand out above everybody else. So there's all these certain aspects and I was like that totally all relate to gardening as well because. Speaking of [00:09:00] aspects, the best aspects to have your garden in, if you are in the southern hemisphere is the, and you're in the eastern seaboard, the eastern side of Australia.
The best aspect to have your garden in is the northeast aspect, so that is where you face partially north and partially east at the same time. Because as the sun comes up in summertime, it comes up directly in. The middle and comes straight over the top of our houses and sets on the same um, line.
Whereas in winter it comes up in the east and it sort of swings up towards the north. If you look at, um, the round earth, it swings up up to the north and sets them down in the west, whereas summertime comes up in the east. And heads directly to the west, whereas in the winter it, it swings out more. So what you want is you want less sun in the [00:10:00] summertime because it just, it just annihilates your garden.
So, But you want more sun in the wintertime because it helps the plants to grow. They need more light because there's less hours, less sunlight in the day and and all that sort of stuff. So having your garden on the right aspect. So starting your business with a good foundation, starting your garden on the right aspect is imperative.
So you the, the next part of gardening is ensuring that you have fertile soil. Now that may require you to build up your soil. That may require you to add manure. I'm trying not to swear cuz I'm aware that some of you listen to these with the children around. I swear like a trooper at the best of times.
None of you probably know that unless you've met me in person. And I, that's probably the first thing I'll say to you about myself is I swear like a trooper when I don't have my [00:11:00] professional hat on anyway. Um, you have to, you might have to admin manure. Same with business. You have to experience those difficult, uncomfortable times.
Um, and we know them as s h t, we have to experience that in business because from that, Gives you impetus energy. It gives you knowledge to grow. Right. So then sometimes you have to add sticks and supporting structures into a garden. There's supporting structures you need in your business as well. So we need to add the manure.
We need to add the supporting structures. We need then need to add things that are going to keep the moisture into our soil. So we need to add mulch and that the equivalent to that in business. Would be systems and plans so that we can maintain our level of output. And so those are all really important in the garden, and they're [00:12:00] the first building blocks that we need to get right in the garden to make sure that we are going to have long-term success.
Those are the exact same things that we need in business to ensure long-term success. We need to understand that we're gonna come across and actually require manure. As h r t in our business to give us impetus, impetus to grow, we're going to need support structures, whether that be your service, whether that be your accountant who's gonna help you, uh, and make sure that they, you get the best out of your tax and your income possible.
Whether that be. Outdoor professional development. You might listen to the big heart to heart. You might listen to my podcast. You might jump onto the planning sessions. You might jump into the essential elements that we do. There's a whole host of things that we provide within bighearted education. We're not the only one.
There are other places out there. But I beg to differ as [00:13:00] to how spectacular they are compared to big heart of education. Anyway, um, if you found some that's really good, let me know because I'm interested in doing it too. Um, so you need those supporting structures and then you need those systems in place or the mulch.
To make sure that all that goodness stays where it needs to be. So that can be your policies and procedures and risk assessments and, uh, other things that you might automate within your business so that things tick over. You might use the bighearted planners because they keep programming simple and functional and easy and effective, and it keeps.
You keep on top of everything really quickly and succinctly. So it doesn't require a great deal of output, but it actually keeps the business contained and flowing. So the next part about gardening that is, is essential to know, is that you then have to look at the sorts of [00:14:00] plants that you are going to use and work out if they're actually.
Designed for the garden that you have. Now, let me give you a little example. My husband went into great detail, which I was completely and utterly bored about. Didn't listen to one I oar and told me about. Indeterminate and determinate tomatoes. Now, I'm going to make him listen to this podcast episode so that he can hear that I actually did take it on board and now I'm sharing this information with you.
Now, the difference between determinant and indeterminate tomatoes, not that you need to know, but it is relevant to business because you've gotta know. This is like coming to your clients and the people that you invite into your business. They've got to be a good fit. So the difference between a determinant and an indeterminate tomato is one will just grow on a like a bush and it will just sort of be able to [00:15:00] contain itself and all the fruit will happen all by itself.
It'll almost be like a little, a little shrub type thing. And the other one, don't ask me what the, which one is which cuz I didn't pay that much attention. But the other one, Requires a supporting structure to grow on because it kind of like wants to creep. So you cherry tomatoes, whoever has grown cherry tomatoes in their space will know that those things grow freaking everywhere.
They will go on a quest to find their life's purpose and they will be everywhere in your garden where, whereas other tomatoes are happy to just. Stay there look beautiful and produce masses of big fruit, right? So these are difference that we come across in our businesses with our clients and the people that we invite into our business.
Some are self-supporting and others require a whole lot of help. So you have to [00:16:00] determine. What you can support within your garden, and if you have space for that within your garden. So you might say that, yep, I can take one that requires a lot more assistance, but that's all I can manage because I've got all this other stuff going on in the background so I can, I'm happy to.
Quest, finding client within my business. That's all I can manage and the rest need to be self-supporting. The rest, you know, I, I add to them, don't get me wrong, because I come and I water them and I give them fertilizer and I prune them and I take care of them and I look after them to the best of my ability.
Heck, you might even find me out there singing to those little babies, whatever. There is a big difference and you have to be aware when you are planting into your garden and you are inviting into your business that these particular, um, Aspects [00:17:00] are ones that you can manage. So when I went to buy a whole stack of tomatoes, because I have this vision to go traveling and I want to go to Italy and I want some little Nona to cook me this full-blown Italian meal with all this homemade pasta and beautiful tomato based sauces, and I want the red wine and the basil leaves on top of the lasagna and.
Like, I really want to experience that and I definitely want an Italian hot chocolate. Apparently the spoon stands up in it almost. I am here for the thick hot chocolate. So, uh, but in the meantime, while I vision that trip into a reality for myself, I thought, Hmm, I'm gonna. Uh, tomatoes. I'm growing basil and I'm growing all the herbs, parsley, um, thyme, oregano.
I've got garlic growing. We've [00:18:00] got onions, like I'm going to legit make my own authentic tomato, Italian, tomato based sauce that I can then add to my homemade pasta, and I'll go and find some really nice Italian wine somewhere. And I'm going to go through that whole process and just envision myself in Italy.
Out of my own garden. Like I, I, I'm a, I like to do things like that, right? So, because I'm not gonna be able to get to Italy for a few years yet. So I, I want to have an experience and I'm gonna create it. So I went and bought all of these tomatoes and, and I was just looking at the pictures cuz Brian and I have been having.
BLTs at lunchtime too, and I wanted to get some big beef heart tomatoes, like those massive. And there's mortgage buster tomatoes as well. These massive tomatoes that I can really thinly slice cuz I actually don't like tomato. I know I'm a weirdo, but I love tomato sauce. I [00:19:00] can eat tomato cooked, but I don't like raw tomato, but I'll eat BLTs.
Don't ask me, I'm a weirdo. I know. So I, I went and bought all these really big tomatoes and he'd said to me before I went, make sure you get indeterminate ones, because they're the ones that are self-supporting. So I did listen so. Anyway, I didn't listen at the time cuz it didn't make any sense to me and I didn't particularly care.
And I was just going to go to Bunnings and buy these tomatoes and come back because I was having this like vision of being a Nona making Italian tomato sauce. So I get back and it turns out I only got two of the right sort that he wanted me to get. And the rest were these ones that require support and structure.
And now we've got like all of these sorts that need to go somewhere. To have support to grow on. So it's kind of ruined his plans and mine are still going, okay, because I'm gonna have all these tomatoes soon. So can you see how that can work in your business? [00:20:00] Can you see how it's really important that you know that what you are inviting into your business is something that you can maintain and sustain?
The next part of the story is fertilizer. Like, how do you keep these things growing? Because you can't just put them into the soil and then expect that they're gonna grow. If you've done the pre-work and you've set the, the tone of the soil and you've, you've done all the things by adding the manure and the compost and the sticks and the, you know, sticks will break down anyways, a whole, if you wanna look into it, go into lasagna gardening, it's really quite good.
Um, and there's another style of gardening. I can't remember what it is now, but. There's a few different ways you can go about creating garden beds. So we've always added sticks and whatnot because it helps to keep a bit of aeration in the soil and it means that you don't have to use as much. Everything sort of breaks [00:21:00] down as you go, and then you just put more stuff on top.
So, anyway. I'm going a little off track here. So it is really important that you're aware of the fertilizer and that you need to continually add. You can't just put something in and ex and and take, take, take and expect that it's going to sustain life for years to come. It's just not going to happen. And I know farming on a large scale is experiencing this now because the soil is almost.
Devoid of all nutrients. So then they're having to come and put these chemical and synthetic nutrients on instead of having the brainwave that what if we actually put everything out of this paddock, put a whole heap of manure in here, whole heap of sugar cane, mulch, and straw, and all the rest of it.
Turn it over and then leave it fallow for 12 months. What will happen is that all the microorganisms that live in that soil and, and come from that manure, [00:22:00] will then begin to start regenerating. And then the next thing to do is to put a crop of nitrogen fixing, um, seed over the top. So you might put mustard seed.
That's a really great nitrogen fixer. And things like that. So you have this fallow plot. So you have this plot that has nothing in it, right? And what it's doing is it's rejuvenating and regenerating itself. So can you see how needing to have fertilizer, which in the case of businesses, professional development, You need to have this professional development come in and feed you and give you ideas and nourish you and, and top you up, and fill you up.
You also then need to have periods of fallow time. Now that might be where you go on holiday. And you really need to prioritize deep self-care. And I'm not, when I say deep self-care, and I didn't really have an [00:23:00] understanding of this until a month ago, six weeks ago, like a true understanding where I went and did a healing retreat for the day.
It was the most profound thing I've done in my life. And I am not actually gonna share the details of it because it was so personal. Um, and. If it calls to you, you'll experience it and you'll, you'll understand what I'm talking about. Um, but it was, I, I've never felt this level of self-compassion that I have felt in that day in my life.
And it has gone into so many other aspects of my life, but it's also actually made me see how not present I was in my life. And now I have this deep sense of being present in the moment, and I'm looking at the things that I do that I don't like from a space of deep compassion [00:24:00] and self-compassion. I could not do that.
Unless I'd actually given myself permission to be present and face the things that are uncomfortable and face the things that. Uh, I don't like about myself, but doing that with love, you don't get that from going and having a bath like you've really gotta do the work. Brene Brown is fabulous. If you want to start somewhere with deep compassion, I highly recommend that you go and read Dare to Lead or any of Brene Brown's work.
That is phenomenal work. She's got a Netflix special as well that you can watch. She talks about being in vulnerability. To have deep self-compassion, you have to be prepared to be vulnerable. That is the basis of deep self-care. If you don't allow space for you in your life space for you. With no outside distractions, [00:25:00] no outside voices.
You being present with you. So maybe you need to go away for a night on your own and go and have dinner by yourself and take your journal and have a cocktail and dinner and write the things in your journal like I've never been a journaler. But after, after this, like, I mean, I, I journaled like I plan and I set goals and I do all these things, but journaling after this day that I had has a complete different meaning for me.
So I now say I've not been a journaler until now. And now what I do is I sit down in my special book and I just let the words flow. Whatever is in my head and on my heart just comes out into this book and I let it all out and I don't try to make any sense of it. I just have to allow myself space and time to be with my own thoughts.
That is the basis of deep self care and I'm betting [00:26:00] there's a whole heap of you out there who actually don't have the time or space in your life. Where you have no outside forces coming in and clouding your thoughts. So that is the basis of deep self-care. That is the purpose of letting your garden go fallow after you've put some fertilizer on it to let ideas bubble and to, and it doesn't necessarily, I don't necessarily mean PD as in.
Professional development. It can be personal development too. So it might be that you, all you can manage to do is go to the beach for three hours, but you listen to a podcast maybe on trauma care or whatever it is, whatever is in your life that you need to look at and, and address. Where you actually don't allow the time for yourself to do that.
Maybe that's the start of it where you listen to something that makes you ponder things in your world and then you go and you have [00:27:00] this quiet time where there's no distractions. You're not responsible for anybody because the thing with family day daycare educators is that they're always responsible and quite often you are responsible for your own family after you work too.
So you quite literally are on. And responsible for people 24 7. That is a recipe for burnout, my friends. And this deep self care that I've experienced is something that I want you to experience too, because it was so profound and it's not going and laying in a bath like you can do that too. That's great.
And there's a place for that. But that deep self care where there's nobody around and you're in your quietness. And you only have to answer to yourself. That's the stuff that we really need to get to because when we become this fruit and this, this tree that's bearing fruit all the time, if we [00:28:00] don't have people coming and fertilizing us and looking after the soil, and that can be ourselves too, because if you look at trees, they drop their leaves, their leaves then become mulch.
The mulch then invites all these other creatures and microorganisms and things to come into and help this regeneration process, right? The tree is self-feeding and self-sustaining. This can happen too for you. You can be self-sustaining too, right? So you have to allow these times where there's input coming in, but then there's no input because it's really important.
So when we are talking about garden and business and professional development and, and self-care, can you see how this all interconnects and how it all relates? Because if you suddenly have no water coming into your, into your plants, you have no fertilizer coming [00:29:00] into your plants. They're fruiting away.
They're fruiting, fruiting, fruiting. What they're doing is they're sucking everything out of the soil and pretty soon there's gonna be nothing there. And when there's nothing there, that plant starts to get sick, and it starts to wilt and it dies. So I'm not saying you are gonna get sick and will die, but what I am saying is that you are not going to be able to perform the way you need to perform.
In your business. So these are recipes that we can use that will sustain us and will give us a, a, a, a solid base. And if you can look at these different things and you go, you know what I'm, my, the aspect of my business is all wrong. Like, I'm trying to, when this comes to your fees, like I'm, I've set my fees so low because there's this lack mentality.
Like, I don't want to attract those [00:30:00] families that you know don't want to pay me my worth. I want to attract the families that recognize what I'm worth. And in order to do that, I have to put my fee up. Now, that may sound a little bit backwards, but what you're actually doing in that is you are drawing a line in the sand and you are then saying, no, my value is here.
This is what I offer. This is what I provide. And the families that want this will find me. I have to put myself out there. You might have to do things differently. So the aspect that you've faced your business needs to change. You need to do things differently. You need to look at how you are putting yourself out into the world, and who is picking up on that?
Like what direction are you facing? Do you need to change? And it's never too late to change. It requires courage. So you have to look at the aspect that your business is on. You have to look at the aspect that you're facing. [00:31:00] You then have to look at the supporting structures that are in place. You have to make sure that they are in alignment with the kind of plants that you want to have in your garden or your business.
The kind of clients you want in your business. There's no point in having, wanting to have a rainforest garden, but being in a desert, like that's just never gonna happen. So you have to then look at what's in your, uh, catchment area and what suits your, like, your philosophy, and, and find the balance and find the things that are going to work well together.
You might, it might require a little bit of extra work. If you are insistent that you wanna have a rainforest garden in a desert scape area, well there's going to require you to build that soil up, nurture it, get those really strong supporting structures. You might even have to have outside things come in and help [00:32:00] you, uh, and, and get things set up.
And then start slowly and build yourself up. You might then decide, you know what? This isn't the area and I'm gonna move, or I need to, to really look at what I'm, where I am, and make the most of where I am, which means I then need to start researching different sorts of plants that are gonna work in here.
Once you've got those supporting structures, right, then you need to start looking at fertilizing. You need to start looking at. What comes in, what's inspiring you? What is giving you new perspective? What is feeding your ability? Then you need to have those periods of fallowness where all of that then gets rebuilt and recharged.
And, and you have systems in place that keep things ticking over. So that may well be that you have really looked at your figures and your budget, and you have put in place things that are going [00:33:00] to sustain you while you have time off. So you've put aside extra money every week to cover paid leave for yourself.
So that's a really important thing to consider so that when you are having time away, that things don't fall over. That calamity doesn't Strike that. You are covered and you can relax. You might put money towards professional development too, because quite often there could be a professional development that you go to just like what I'm about to do or what I'm doing this week is doing, putting, going to this business retreat and the conference that I'm going to, and then having e, e extra days afterwards so that I have space time and space to then process all of that input that has come into me.
And then I get to categorize it and put it into my business, and I get to plan, and I get to dream, and I get to put things into perspective and decide how [00:34:00] this new information is going to fit into my business. I can't do that if I come back from a conference and then I'm strapped back into the day-to-day of my business.
I need to have time and space where I get to dream and process and relax and there's no pressure on me and I need to let things filter. You know, it's like brewing coffee. I need to let, let it happen before I push the plunger down and squash all the ideas down and then take the juice out of them. So you need to allow those times of fallowness to sustain you and rebuild you.
And then you start your planting again, and it starts this whole beautiful symbiotic system and process again. And that, my friends, is how I came up with the garden and the business analogy. And I hope that made sense for you because it sat on me all day and it [00:35:00] percolated, and I really wanted to share it because when you can see.
How all these things interconnect and the importance, and there's no one thing that's more important than another. They all need to coexist together, but they all have their time to shine and so do you, and so does your business. And when you start putting your energy and your attention into your business with intentionality and focus, great things will grow from that.
When you're constantly watering and you're constantly fertilizing and you're tending and you, you're pulling the weeds out, and the weeds might be when people are pushing your boundaries. And they've gone over your boundaries. They've crossed that line, sorry, there's no space for that. Get rid of it. Pull that weed out, get rid of it.
Keep your garden so it's looking fresh and, and then you might start to [00:36:00] harvest the fruit, which is those beautiful messages that your family sends you. The beautiful things that the children say to you. Your service coming in and giving you really great feedback and, and outside sources, seeing the great things that you are doing and your.
Wait list growing and your ability to put your fee up because you are becoming someone who everyone is se seeking out over everybody else in your area. That's the fruit. That's what we are wanting to grow to. So I, I really hope that this has made sense, made sense in my head. I hope I've been able to explain it in a way that inspires you to really practice some deep, deep solitude and self-care.
And I understand it's difficult when you have little children, but boy oh boy, it's more difficult to completely lose yourself and to become burnt out. It's really hard to come back from that. It's easier to make the [00:37:00] time buddy up with a friend. If you're a single woman, buddy up with a friend. Get her to have your kids.
You go away, even if it's for three or four, five hours, maybe even, you know, a whole day. Send dinner. You know, and, and let your trusted friend have your kids and then return the favor for her so she can go onto it. Do it too. But really go and be in some silent space because when you're on your own and you've only got your own thoughts and your own things to be responsible to, that is the basis of deep self-care.
So on that note, my friends. I am teasing my champagne glass to you, my Prosecco glass to you. That's imagined because I'm not on Wangling Beach yet, but I will be by the time you're listening to this. And I send you so much love and gratitude that you tune in every and listen to this podcast. Because it was on my heart for two years to do a podcast.
It took [00:38:00] me two years to get this baby happening. And now that I do it all the time, I'm like, why did it take me so long that that ground was fallow for a long time? There were seeds there, but they weren't fertilized and there wasn't any attention or thought given to it, but now it's here. And I just really appreciate the people that tune in and listen to this and share the podcasts with their friends, uh, because.
I just think we have such a wonderful profession and we really in family daycare. I truly, in my heart of hearts know family daycare is the best option for children. I. In the early years because it's just so beautiful. So friends, I hope that you are well and I look forward to seeing you on social media and all around the place.
And, um, I hope that you get a lot out of this. So sending so much love to you all and I look forward to catching up when I return. [00:39:00] All right, much love everybody.
